Until this day, I still cannot imagine seeing my dad in the condition he was. Lying sick in bed, so weak that he needs someone to hold him while he walk, finding it difficult to breathe. In my mind he was always a healthy man, always exercising, controlling his diet and he doesnt smoke or drink so it really gave me a shock seeing him like this. It was just six months ago when the doctor diagnosed dad with stomach cancer. We were all shock but dad, ever the calm person in our family, told us not to panic. He just said that we will fight this together as a family and we will overcome it. All we can do at that time was to nod our head meekly and agree with him.
After grueling months of therapy both oral and radiation my dad was as weak as a baby, then cruel fate descended again and dealt another blow. All the treatments and all the pain were for naught as the news broke that the ravaging cancer had continued its devastating attack to his liver. My mom bless her soul, was too overcome by this news and broke down her body convulsed with sorrow, we all were blank with sadness, all but one person Dad as usual was steadfast, more worried about us than himself. Like a knight facing a dragon to rescue a damsel in distress without a though for his own well being.
Days passed as the tedium of life in a hospital ward took over, we all took turns to take care of dad. One day as I was settling into my routine of watching television, I heard dads broken voice asking hoarsely Son I was thinking, remember the present you gave methe photo mug. Can you look for it? My mind blurred for a moment then I remembered, I had given the mug to him as a present after my graduation. A photo of us together was printed on it along with the words Thanks Dad written boldly in front. Dad told me where to find it in the house and I went to get it. As I held the mug in my hand I could feel a swell of emotion well up in me as I recalled the story behind the mug.
It was right after the end of my graduation ceremony for my undergraduate degree. We were standing around talking when mum said dad and I should take one picture together since me and mum took one earlier. So we stood together, with the awkward smiles and tried to look as natural as we can. Its seldom that we took photographs together even during family trips or holidays because it was either me or dad taking those photographs so we didnt really took photographs together until now. Till now mum still tease us saying how weird our expressions were that day. But, I can see that dad was really happy for me for finishing my studies, and I felt glad that dad finally has something to be proud of because of me. Few days later I was walking in our local mall when I saw this booth offering to print pictures on mugs and key chains and all sorts of other stuffs such as personalized baptism photo mugs and so on. I think it was a spur of the moment when I thought of getting one of those photo mugs for dad would be cool, so I got one done with the graduation picture printed on it.
I am not what you would call a giving person, I regret that now and have changed somewhat. But I think that only helped to heighten dads joy at receiving my gift. He too was silent for a moment as I broke his daily routine of television watching not knowing what to make at first of the mug that was thrust into his hands. He uttered the words thanks then turned back to his show, it was only later that I noticed him smiling fondly as he fingered it. In the glow of the fading evening light, I realized that he truly appreciated the gift. When the son finally gives instead of receiving then he has begun to be a man. The personalized photo mugs was my first significant gift to dad, I remember thinking, why didnt I get him a fancy hand phone or a gold chain instead, but now looking back the mug with the two of us in a goofy embrace was more than adequate.
Back at the hospital, I passed the personalized reunion mug to dad. He just looked at it, and gave exactly the same smile when I first gave him the mug. He said, You know son, you know when you were born your mum and I were still young, so we didnt know really how to raise you up. There was sure a lot of trail and error involved, and you still remember I am sure. I just smiled back at him, waiting for him to continue. But, when I saw you got up that stage, received your degree, and that smile on your faceI can never forget that moment. It was at that exact moment that I realized you are my own son, and that raising you up was the best job and responsibility I ever had. Unknowingly, tears started coming down my cheeks, and the room just stayed silent as me and dad just look at each other with big smiles on our faces.
My father ultimately loss the battle with cancer a fortnight later but he won the war. The stars dimmed just a little and the world spun just a little slower the day he sailed away on that golden winged ship. A part of me died that day but I know that a part of him still lives in me. I have kept the mug safely in the closet where he kept it safely out of harms way, it makes me sad and happy to look at it now like bittersweet chocolate. Dad may have been proud of me as a son, but I am even prouder to have had such a father as him.